Envsioning Your Future Together

Envisioning Your Future Together:

 

As a couple, it is important to look forward and envision what you would like your year ahead to look like. Choose a theme for the next 6 months. Write it down and place it on your mirror or refrigerator. Live this year purposefully! Envision where you would like to be as a couple by December of this year. Do this for your finances (how will you spend your resources – holidays etc.), for your couple relationship (what you want to work on individually for the relationship and as a couple), for your social relationships as a couple (who you want to get to know, who you want to build more memories with), for your giving back to the world as a couple (through any of your resources), for your physical health as a couple (from eating to exercising), for your spiritual health as a couple (developing gratitude, having rituals of faith), for your parenting or grandparenting as a couple (what you want for those relationships) – whatever is meaningful to that picture for December of this year. Write your vision down. Write down why you want that together. This part is very important and helps you to keep to your plans as a couple. You could make a dream board of representative pictures if that is helpful to you. The more real the vision and the why is, the easier it will be to make it happen.

Plan to look at your vision together biweekly until December of this year. You will find that instead of life moving you in whatever direction presents itself in the moment, you will have crafted your year in the direction of your dream for living.

 

More Tips

Take time to look at your relationship through the basics of developing your friendship, taking time to date, having many more positive transactions in your conversations then negative, taking your attachment bond seriously, increasing your listening, understanding and acceptance of each other. Getting rid of criticism, contempt and defensiveness in exchange for learning to make complaints (Gottman research). Old stuff, but shown to be important make it or break it processes in your relationships. Don’t get stuck in the old south saying, ‘fixing to get ready’ – life is passing, act now in taking these steps. A great quote by my favourite 19th century philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard, says, “There is nothing of which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.” Don’t let this fear hold you back. Go forth and be wonderful this year! You get to choose – I know you can choose well!